"a few reminders to self"

Lots going on, lots going on. Visiting family and friends in Arizona, changing jobs (same company, new opportunity), changing cities, and a big change afoot that I’m keeping private (but so tantilizingly so) until some time in the distant future. 

First, my excuse for not writing.  No computer.  Well, that’s a lie.  Actually, two computers.  Neither of which functioned properly. I’ll get to that, too, but first, let’s just talk about my trip home.  By home, I am now talking about Abu Dhabi. 

  

I managed to have all the information I needed with me for my flight, except some key information, the lack of which had me bawling my eyes out in Newark, spending a couple of hours going from gate to gate trying to find my flight, trying to check in, asking everyone with a badge for help (and I have to say, they are a very sweet bunch in Newark) and fearing that perhaps I had, despite triple-checking, booked myself through another airport after all.  (Reminder #1: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE INFORMATION YOU NEED ON PAPER)  Then, my smartphone, (which is actually pretty stupid without a sim card and no free wifi), had me paying for wifi that never actually functioned.  (Reminder #2: DON’T WASTE MONEY, in this case, on Boingo or T-mobile when in an airport in the states.  It’s costly and never actually works for me.)  Then, thinking I was safe to dispose of the disposable phone that was out of minutes anyway, I...disposed of it...not realizing that it had phone numbers in there that could have saved me a couple of hours of kabir mushkila (major problem).  (Refer self to Reminder #1.)  Then, the brand-spankin’ new computer, hastily purchased fearing that my old computer was on it’s last legs, barely had grown any of it’s own.  Corrupt disk issues.  Nothing I could fix.  Access to phone numbers, emails, anything that could help, was somewhere floating untethered in the great cyber ocean.  Newark has no public computers.  So, very lucky that I had several hours of layover and armed with a new skill I have from my last year in the emirates ( “ask a different person, get a different answer,”) I tried one more person in the hopes that he would actually give me the information that I needed.  And he did.  Gate guy at Continental, you saved us all from having to deal with a crazy lady having a major breakdown. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt that pathetic.  In my own country.  I’ve seriously never felt that lost in another, even when I was.  In the Frankfurt airport, internet was no problem.  I could have made international calls.  (Thank you, Frankfurt Airport, for making these things available.)  Never did get that gate guy’s name, but thank you, too.

The whole time, I was thinking was “this would never happen in the UAE.” And I was right!  No one lets you even carry your bags, unless you insist.  As inconsistent in infrastructure as it can be here, the human factor is so strong.  I missed that, being in the states.  It isn’t that people are unkind.  I’ve already said how sympathetic and helpful people wanted to be at the Newark airport.  But, you could tell it was an unusual situation for them.  People expect technology to work.  I expect technology to work.  Life today is so difficult without it.  People in my own country aren’t used to having to pick up technology’s slack, if there is any.  Technological slack is not acceptable in the western world.  It dominates.  As I type, I sadly realize how true it is for me, sitting in a cafe, hoping someone will pop on skype, writing, by myself.  Around me are people, Arabs, and what are they doing?  Talking to each other.  Yes, they love their multiple mobile phones (as having only one does seem like a sign of destitution for them), yet here they are spending most of their time with each other.  I am on my computer, thankful that it works again, and anxious to stay connected to my world the way I know how.  Sad?  Maybe.  I do miss the human-ness when it’s absent from a place.  

People in the UAE seem to see each other, aren’t so guarded against what someone might do to them, and rarely out to see what they might get out of you.  And sadly, in my reverse culture-shock, that is what I missed most being in the US.  Outside of close circles, people seem suspicious of each other.  Stranger kindness might exist in the states somewhere, but it doesn’t seem so easy to come by anymore.  I’d say it’s because many bad things happen there, but hey, look around this world.  Look at where I am and the countries that surround me.  Worse things happen, bigger, more dangerous, more frequent.  And yet, you know what happens?  If you comment on how nice someone’s something is, that something instantly becomes yours.  If a woman wants to move up in line, politesse dictates that it be so.  Doors are held, conversations are started, you’re called “sister,” by men in businesses as a sign of respect, smiles are typically easy.  Things that are hard in the states are easy here.  

Going to a doctor? No appointment, you just walk in.  Needing to cancel a check? 5 minutes, sign this. Want a credit card?  No credit check, just show how much you make.    Need a driver’s license?  Pretty easy, too.  I know it isn’t the same for expats of all countries and I can only write from my own experience. I’m also selectively leaving out that things that are easy in the states are super hard here. 

There’s a reason.  Leaving family and friends behind is heartbreaking.  I’m working on the positives.  All this “happy to be back” energy is something I’m sticking in this first post in months, partly to remind myself that when...

“I’m ready to find a new place to live...I found a new place to live...oh, you won’t approve my move yet...”

“you’ll just have to commute four hours a day until it all works out...phew, thanks for the hotel room”

“the new school will be open in a couple of weeks...make that after Eid in November...”

“call the police to report that they cashed the check they said they wouldn’t, so they don’t report you first and send you to prison...” (oops, forgot Reminder #1 already...)

“okay, the paperwork is in, now where are the keys to the new flat...where is the money to get the keys to the new flat...”

“you’re no longer in the computer system...okay, you are, but your name is wrong...”

“do all the steps to get out of the old apartment before I can ask for the new one...oh, I need to sleep somewhere in the meantime...oh, I need to store your stuff somewhere in the meantime”

“well, you’re working, no updated paperwork reflecting the change to your job, but you’re doing it, so hopefully, you’ll get paid...”

...happens, I can still remember that when all is said and done, Reminder #3: IT’S REALLY NOT ALL THAT BAD.  In fact, not bad at all.