"the Emirates' Big Five"

In this land, where Porsches, Jags, Ferraris, Hummers, and Lamborghinis are the “big five,” and where BMWs and Mercs roam the land as freely as...Toyotas...a girl can lose perspective.  Save money?  On this safari?  Hah.  Not the first year, anyway.

So this is what happens:  I pile into my budget rental car, viewing the exotic motorized creatures in their native habitat, and sometimes follow the herds toward a typical destination, a watering hole of sorts...the mall.

Over the past twenty years, I have spent maybe a whole of, oh, twenty days in a mall.  Yeah, I have that much love for them.  Hey, new land.  New perspective.  What can I say?  When roaming the Emirates...

Safari.  I love the word.  I remember thinking it was so hilariously funny that it was being used for trips into the sand in 4x4s and quads.  I think of jungle safari with leeches and piranha, and Kenyan safaris with long telescoping lenses and multi-pocketed vests.  Don’t you?  (Okay, maybe you knew this, but I didn’t until recently: the word "safari" originates from Arabic, like so many things do. It refers simply to a journey.)  

So, what better place to find that camera and that vest? You guessed it, the mall.  Where all things materialistic are possible.  Air conditioning in 40C/110F + weather is still the major draw for all the local critters, but while you keep cool in the man-made oasis, the smaller inhabitants, the ones covered in bling and too much packaging catch your eye, and on occasion, your Mastercard number.  And although I’m a nature girl, I also have particularly crow-like tendencies towards those shiny things these days.  The nest has gotta look good, now, right?!

But now, as I’ve been here nine months, the novelty of shopping is somewhat wearing off.  I’m being more selective again.  Keeping in mind my future goals.  This has been helped significantly by some tragic events related to these excursions:

Oh, I loved those polarized RayBans...until they were crushed in a dune-bashing excursion.  And those Dolce ones were an even nicer fit...until I lost them...twice.  Humph.  I give up on pricey sunglasses.  Should never have succumbed in the first place.  Learned my lesson?  Yes.  Until the next big sale.  And I DID talk myself out of the Bugatti ones that fit like they were custom made for my face.

And then there are THE SHOES.  Oh, the shoes.  They look like the good quality ones that I typically spend my money on and keep for too many years.  They’re seriously cute, and they’re so much cheaper.  If you don’t value walking in them all that much, due to blisters, twisted ankles, and no arch support, then hey, go for it.  I’ll just walk barefoot while they adorn my hands as I carry them.  I always preferred barefoot hiking anyway.  So cheap, yeah, in more ways than one. 

And tons of inexpensive clothing available, too.  Now that I know that spaghetti straps are okay in certain environments, I must replenish!  Funny thing: almost all the western clothing available in the malls would be deemed inappropriate for a modest, Muslim environment.  I’ll be gosh-darned if I’m going to pile more clothing on top, though, in this insane heat.  And, seeing as how I can’t wear those particular items to work, I need work clothes, too!   And going-out clothes.  And work-out clothes.  And traveling clothes, and lounge-around-the-house clothes.  Anyway, nine months after arriving, I’m already making give-away piles.  

Then there’re the spa treatments.  Hey, health is important.  Feeling good is a huge part of health.  Right?  Right?  I mean...right?

And the new phone.  Get how I justify this one: it’s cheaper than buying a phone, a new ipod, a kindle, a portable computer, a video camera, and a new still camera, and so much easier to keep track of one device.  It’s also factory unlocked, so I can use sim cards from anywhere.  Geez, I can’t decide if I’m right, or I’m just getting way better at tricking myself.

I haven’t even mentioned all the things to do.  Ski Dubai.  Ferrari World.  This yacht trip, that concert, this kayaking adventure, the other club to join.  I’m not even talking about the other countries you can go to.  Sheesh, I'm getting tired just thinking about it all!  (Hey, shisha...haven’t had any in awhile...that sounds good.)

So, now that I’m finally starting to come to my frugal senses a little, it’s time to start planning my visit home.  It’s time to spend on plane tickets, portable chargers for the iphones and computers, utilities, tango festival, maybe buying a car for next year, presents for people at home.  Well, yeah.  So much for saving a dirham this year.  S’okay.  As long as I keep it 50/50 - half for now, and half for past & future expenses.  (Yeah, yeah, I know.  The queasiness I feel probably means I should adjust that percentage a little, keep that inner spending beast at bay.)

Next year, there’s always next year, inshallah. Meanwhile, I’ll stay in my little rental vehicle, observing and attempting to keep a safe distance from the consumption predators and try not to get too consumed myself. 

(Oh, and by the way, animal folks,  I hope you aren't feeling too cheated by the title.  There really are very few large wild animals around here anymore.  The camels live dependent on people.  The oryx are rare, and best found in large, enclosed private sanctuaries.  You'll be lucky to encounter a camel spider, a scorpion, a mouse, or a hedgehog.  Birds, however, you'll find a' plenty.)