"i'm so confused!"

There is a good reason why I haven’t written in awhile. I’d like to keep it simple, but simple is just not an active part of my vocabulary these days. My mind is all in a muddle most of the time. Well, at least this country and I have something in common!

And for some reason, my title reminds me of John Patrick Shanley’s “Moonstruck,” so I’ll have you join in my confusion by making constant references to it, although it really has absolutely no bearing on the UAE or my experience here, except, perhaps, for it’s mooniness.

I think I hit on a key to “getting” the culture here: it’s a reactive society, not a proactive one. (Except if it’s behind the wheel in one of the many roundabouts!) I’m used to the western world value that a person’s work ethic is based partly on the ability to think ahead and plan for the “what ifs.” Things come together, eventually, but foresight is not a skill that lives here, except as an expat. It can be terribly frustrating for many of my collegues, and me too, with our western “plan ahead” ideals. It’s unfathomable that a whole country can function without having learned that ability. For example, on a recent evening, hundreds of teachers gathered happily, to get their apartment keys. It took about half an hour (and only five teachers) later for anyone to realize, "hmmm, at this rate, we'll be here until 10am.") Reactive decision-making, not proactive.

This is where I value the craft of teaching more than I ever have before. Some things don’t come naturally. Some things have to be taught.

Something someone said awhile back makes sense, and keeps me from losing my own cool: if someone here gives you their word that something will get done, it will definitely get done. I think what’s happening when people lose it, is that they don’t realize that. Things definitely have a different time table, but requests have not been forgotten! They just work on a different time table...and clock...and calendar...) The essence of time itself is different here. (“Why do you make me wait? It’s la bella luna! Aaaooooou!”)

There was a recent article in a local rag (which I’m reading a lot of now, since I pounce on any scrap of information I can get about this place.) A Taiwanese hospital basically kicked out some UAE patients, due to unpaid bills. Who was responsible for paying those bills? The gov. So, us teachers (also known by something like “habla,” and professors by “ustaad.” Hey, didn’t I write something about that...Sorry, another tangent.) Anyway, the teachers aren't the only ones waiting. (Waiting for passports...waiting for visas...waiting for paperwork to get internet, utilities, cars...waiting for money, keys, apartments...)So, anyway, it really IS affecting their relationships with the rest of the world, and that is a problem. Growing pains of a baby nation with massive britches.

I have an inner civil war occuring right now. I’ve been hired to bring in effective education. Cool. But, my being here, just my being in the presence of my wee ladies, changes their culture. It changes their perception of the world. Not wearing a shayla, and I’m not a scary monster. Worse, I’m actually kind of fun. It’s a threat. There are worse threats out there than me, perhaps, but those are on television and on the movie screen. I’m live theater.

I’m not the only one with an internal conflict. I’ve been given a classroom. I’ve been given a lovely place to live (soon), and nice hotels to live in until that can happen. I’ve been told by my principal that she wants us to be happy. (Imagine that. Human happiness as a priority.) I’ve also been told that if the student’s don’t love me, find another job. Love and happiness are more important than learning. That’s what I’ve been told. Hmmm. Does there have to be a divide? (“Somebody, tell a joke!”)

So, anyway, I’m highly, highly confused. They want me for my knowledge of western education, but they don’t want the western education...err, something like that...

Here’s a riddle for you all: what preserves a culture, all the while, allowing it to remain a major player in the global community? If you discover the answer, or even a clue, please post it on the blog! (Before it gets censored!!!)

Before I go off to plan another lesson (making predictions, text-to-self connections, perhaps,) a last quote from Shanley’s fantastic script: “We aren’t here to make things perfick. The snowflakes are perfick. The stars are perfick. Not us.”

“let’s consult the moon”

It can be gratifying to live in a land so ruled by the sun and the moon.

It’s been a pressing need for me, for quite some time now, to live somewhere where being the best, most efficient little cog in the machine is not the ultimate goal. Even in Tucson, where the pace of life is significantly slower than most places in the western world, there is still this urgent need to do more, do better, in less time than ever before. We know: in the midst of the US’s current economic situation, we still are exposed to the media praise for companies that have raised their efficiency. Read this, “fewer people, more work.” We are a society of aspiring Super People. But, we’re not. We are still the same species that used to have one breadwinner per family, used to close our business doors one day per week, used to take siestas, used to, used to, used to. I’m not being a romantic and pretending that life was better then. I know better, every era has it’s blessings and it’s difficulties. And, as much as I aspire to fulfilling my own super powers, Super People Syndrome looks like this: heart disease, anxiety disorders, depression, obesity, cancer, how about “restless leg syndrome,” and I’m sure you can add a plethora of others. (My not-so humble opinion, of course.) But, is that really okay? To what end?

Here, in this land, we are in the midst of the holiest of months, the ninth month, Ramadan. Without going into a detailed explanation of it’s raison d’etre, it is a month that closely follows the phases of the moon. How beautiful is that? How in touch with the world we live? (“How noble in reason?”) But what strikes me most is that we just heard yesterday that Ramadan will end, and that Eid will start tomorrow. Today, it’s that no, not really, Eid preparation will start tomorrow, and Eid will start Friday. Tomorrow, we might hear something different. It’s all based on the special council set up to decide these things, based on moon phases. Even the most important holiday, with the seemly most clear-cut beginning and ending times, is not really real until it’s really real.

Prayer times change by minutes, by location, each day. It’s printed in the newspaper. Based on the sun. School prayer times are different, and that’s up to a different authority.

And that’s exactly how the rest of life is too, and from what I can tell, is the one thing you can absolutely count on. Change, the only constant. My long-standing motto. And here, it’s a way of life.

I’m getting my salary advance, but not really. But now, really, only later, and with my furniture alllowance, but okay, not yet, okay now it will, and now it should be before Eid, except if it isn’t. I’m getting a car at this time and this price. Except if I’m not. I have plenty of minutes on my phone, but where are they? But, it says I used them, but I didn’t use them. Fix it at this place, but we can’t, well, we can, come back after 8pm, but maybe not. You’ll have a week, no, by Friday, except for Eid, so by Monday, but Monday is that other thing, okay, so you won’t have any time at all to set up your classroom, just go in on the day the kids show up and ask the principal what you should do. And although the number one rule in classroom management is that you have an organized and ready room, and the number one thing that the schools want us to stress in classroom management, and how's that again..?!

Following me yet?

Just roll with it. Everyone else does. I should absolutely get the keys to my new apartment, except that I’m not, except that I am, but, but, but...maybe I should spend some time consulting that ol’ hunk o’ cheese in the sky. Unless it's really a man in the moon. Or should I be asking the sun after all ...

It can be frustrating to live in a land so ruled by the sun and the moon.

But, truthfully, it only rattles you if you’re still trying to earn your Super Person cape, or if you’re running low on cash. Shway shway, slow down, like water...

What else can I say? This is good.